Meet the UK’s First Dating Profile Photographer

She’s on a mission to banish blurry bathroom selfies and make poorly picked portraits a thing of the past. eHarmony met Saskia Nelson, the UK’s first dedicated dating profile photographer, and discovered that she’s out to conquer the world one photo at a time…

“As a visual person, when I was online dating I was looking at these blurry, dark, 10-years-out-of-date profile pictures and it was so off-putting.

“Just by having a good photo you can make such a difference. We live in such a visual world it makes sense that when people go to their online dating they want the same thing.”

Saskia Nelson is taking a breather for a quick cup of tea and a chat with eHarmony on London’s South Bank, before she heads off to shoot her second single of the day.

For the UK’s first dedicated dating profile photographer business is booming, with demand at an all-time high.

This is all the more impressive when we learn that just two years ago Saskia was working for a charity and studying portrait photography simply as a hobby.

She says: “I knew I wanted to work with people, because people are brilliant.

“I did a lot of model shoots and I models would swap numbers with me and keep wanting to work with me.

“I kind of realised that I wanted to make my hobby my job.”

So in January 2013 Saskia handed in her notice and set about starting her own photography business, but she was still missing a vital detail.

She says: “I read lots and lots of marketing books and they said you’ve got to have a niche.

“I thought ‘what do I know?’ My friends said ‘have you thought of being a wedding photographer?’ But weddings aren’t really my thing.

“Then I had this light bulb moment, where my eight years of online dating experience could come to use.”

And so was born Saturday Night’s Alright, bringing better dating photography to Britain’s singles.

Saskia knows very well what it’s like to be on the other side of the lens, having spent eight years on-and-off using digital dating sites, before finding her match.

She says: “I understand the journey you could be on when you are dating and you can be quite vulnerable.

“By coming to me it takes any embarrassment out of the situation, as I totally empathise. I have lots of advice I can share too.”

For Saskia being a dating photographer is not just a snap and run job, she takes the time to get to know her clients and understand what will work best for them.

She says: “I start to pick up clues about who they are from their first email.

“I send them a questionnaire which asks things like who their style icons are and what’s playing on their iPod.

“I ask them to send me a couple of photos of them they actually like. People often struggle with that one.”

Before she has even met her clients Saskia has built up an idea of what they’re like and how she might best display their personality.

Saskia can then use this knowledge to pick the perfect location for the shoot, and with London’s rich variety of backdrops she is often spoilt for choice.

She says: “The South Bank is good, especially for people with disabilities, as it’s very accessible. I also like Battersea Park, Holland Park, Dalston, Brick Lane, I’m always looking out for new locations.

“I will use the background: If they have got a really bright dress on, for example, I will pick a dull background to enhance the colour. But the photo is really about them.”

Chatty and relaxed, you can imagine that Saskia is an expert at putting nervous singles at ease when it comes to the shoot.

She says: “Rather than poses it’s more about the vibe they’re giving off. If they’re genuinely happy and relaxed I think that shows in the end photos.

“I ask them to think about happy places and happy thoughts to get a smile and a laugh out of them.

“You spend time with them and I feel like we develop a relationship almost. A lot of people turn up and say it’s like meeting somebody for a date.”

In true portrait tradition many of the singles bring props for their shoot.

Saskia says: “I had a woman the other day who loved music, so she brought headphones.

“People bring books, bikes, one person brought a glass sculpture. Dogs are always tricky, it’s hard to get them to do what you want.”

In just two years Saskia estimates she has photographed between 300-400 singles, and it’s only getting busier.

And for those who have passed in front of her lens the results have been impressive.

She says: “Just recently there was this guy Paul who sent me an email saying ‘my in-tray has increased five-fold since I put your photos up.’

“There was an older woman who had just come out of a divorce. She sent me a lovely message saying that she had met someone special who said there was something about her photos that made him stop and talk to her.”

It’s time for Saskia to rush off to her next shoot – she’s fully booked up for the week and has already had to take on a second photographer to cover growing demand. But her ambition does not end here, so say cheese and be prepared for a Saturday Night’s Alright world domination…

She says: “Next year I’m focusing on going national. Most people travel from London from outside, but I want to start setting some bases up around the UK.

“The third phase will be Paris, Berlin, New York, because I like to think big.”

Discover Fire, Food and Festivities at Gwledd Conwy Feast

Are you hungry for an alternative date destination? Do you have a thirst for adventure and spectacle? Then grab your partner and head to the Welsh coast this October for revelry and romance at Gwledd Conwy Feast.

Held annually, this celebration of the finest in food and drink attracts thousands of happy visitors, keen to whet their appetites and join the festivities on the banks of the River Conwy, beneath the walls of the town’s ancient castle.

This year the feast, which takes place on Saturday October 25 and Sunday October 26, will also be celebrating the centenary of Dylan Thomas’s birth and you can expect plenty of fireworks, fire juggling and dancing to add to the spectacle.

Director Fiona Trappe said: “”Gwledd Conwy Feast is an ideal setting for a date; it suits all types, although perhaps if you are looking for a quiet secluded spot, then maybe not advisable!

“Joking aside, the event, set within the medieval walled town and stunning quayside is definitely worth a visit. Now in its 11th year it has grown to become a significant event worth over £1.4m to the local economy”

As well as a mouth-watering menu the festival also features a selection of arts and crafts, including the Hiraeth exhibition, curated with the Natural Building Centre, in nearby Llanrwst, which turns the spotlight on rural crafts by presenting them in an artistic context.

Elsewhere, local community groups have teamed up with professional artists to fuse food with history and create a special banquet that represents food through the ages.

In the demonstration kitchens, local chef-turned-celebrity Bryn Williams will be joined by Cardiff’s Great British Bake Off contestant Beca Lyne-Pirkis and star of S4C’s Becws, along with chefs from some of the area’s best eateries.

If all the great food has you working up a thirst then you can drop by the Champagne and Prosecco tasting event with wine writers Andrew Campbell and Jane Clare.

Add a little Welsh flavour to your date this autumn with a trip to Gwledd Conwy Feast.

For tickets and more information see www.conwyfeast.co.uk or you could win a pair of tickets with our RT to win competition. Simply head over to our Twitter page and RT the right tweet to win. Full terms and conditions below.

EHARMONY UK RE-TWEET PROMOTION

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Open to legal UK residents onlywho are  at least 18 years old at the time of entry.

This promotion is not open to employees, officers, directors of eHarmony (the “Sponsor”) and its parents, affiliated and subsidiary companies, and their respective families, or anyone connected with this promotion, including the third party promotional partners.

Enter this promotion by re-tweeting the applicable tweet from the eHarmony UK Twitter page.

Limit 1 entry per person.

Entries deemed inappropriate or ineligible, as determined at Sponsor’s sole discretion, will be disqualified.

Sponsor will not be liable for technical, hardware, or software failures of any kind or lost or unavailable network connections which may limit or prohibit an eligible entrant’s ability to participate in the competition. IN NO EVENT WILL THE SPONSOR BE RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR LOSSES OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF THE INTERNET SITES OR APPLICATIONS, eHarmony.co.uk and Twitter.com, THE DOWNLOADING FORM AND/OR PRINTING MATERIAL DOWNLOADED FROM SAID SITES OR APPLICATIONS.

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A Modern Muslim Guide to Dating

For many Muslims singles dating can be a difficult balance between their own wants and those of their family or society. Muslim blogger The Imposter has first hand experience of the conflicts which can arise between the search for love and the pressures of tradition. In the first in a series of posts for eHarmony, she explores how dating doesn’t have to mean compromising your beliefs.

Hello All, and how are we today?
For those of you that don’t know me, I am The Imposter. I am a small, loud, brown lady who writes a comedy blog about love, life, dating and relationships and how this entwines with my cultural and religious identity. I also write about interfaith marriage and my very lovely, often comedic, life with my husband “Bob”.

I am a British born, Pakistani, Muslim woman and, if you are anything like me, you will know that these are three incredibly complex states of being to juggle in unison and, short of one being a multi-limbed octopus lady, can rarely be satisfied fully at one time. I can identify with Pakistani culture as well as the culture and traditions of the religion I was raised in but; I do enjoy a good whiskey, used to smoke like a chimney, I collect really rubbish songs on vinyl like Bruce Willis’ timeless classic “Respect Yourself”, I love to knit, I make a killer steak and kidney pie and, like many other women in the UK, karaoke bars are also my secret shame. You may say that I am as western as they come but I am still so proud of my heritage and the culture and tradition my parents brought me up in.

In terms of religion, you can probably guess by now that I am incredibly liberal. I have studied my religion and taken from it the salient points that I wish to live my life by and pass on to my children. I am not strict by any means but I’m pretty happy in my relationship with the big guy upstairs and that’s good enough for me.

I think a growing number of modern Muslims experience something synonymous in terms of their relationship with Islam. There is a clearly defined and unfaltering respect there, but quite a liberal approach in terms of everyday observance.

Which brings me to:

Conundrum the first- To date or not to date?

Often in my life, I have found difficulty in trying to satisfy all three strands of my religious and cultural identity, particularly when it came to the opposite sex.

As a British woman, it seemed perfectly natural to want to explore my curiosities and fascinations with the world of boys. As a Pakistani woman, things are a great deal more formal than that. One is not simply left to their own devices when it comes to love and marriage. I often liken the South Indian approach to dating to Georgian Britain. It’s all about reputation and one’s family and parental interference is a welcome and common occurrence. In short, Jane Austen would be proud… and not prejudice (sorry).
And then there’s the religious take on things… where basically, no one is allowed to touch you until you’re married.
It is no wonder then that, when it comes to the world of dating, the Modern Muslim is left rather flummoxed.

No sex

As much as I do love the old country, demure wafty fan way of doing things, I was always a headstrong little girl. I grew up idolising women like Sarah Connor, Ripley from Aliens and, Goddamnit, even Mary Poppins. Exposure to such strong female role models and, more notably, my own fiercely intelligent and academically accomplished mother, charged me with the most profound yearning to have a more deliberate hand in my future. So, the traditional Pakistani and Muslim approach to marriage was never going to work for me. I wanted the big, sweeping love story, star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet of it all (without the double suicide at the end, obviously).

The trouble is, I went to an all girls private school and wasn’t allowed to date when I was younger or even have male friends really. It wasn’t until I was in my teens that I even socialised with boys, at which point, there was quite a lot of ‘stare ahead silently and wide-eyed panic face hoping no one would talk to me’ going on. As first generation children born in Britain, I don’t think my parents knew how to handle socialising us with the opposite sex and so the matter was often dealt with the way it typically was in Pakistan and Islam, through segregation of the sexes.

For the record, I personally think this is the wrong approach and, on reflection, so does my mum. There is so much value in having friends of the opposite sex and, in turn, dating before settling down, if not just as an exercise to learn more about yourself. So, once I overcame my diffident ways and grew more comfortable around boys my age, one of my absolute favourite things to do was go on dates. Dating before marrying my husband taught me compassion and respect for other people. It taught me how to be emotionally available and to respect my own values and principles as well as the values and principles of others. But, most importantly, it taught me how to share. Food, conversation, my possessions and, eventually, my heart.

Dating does not have to mean sleeping around, nor does it mean you are going to Hell for exploring your options. You are, and always will be, completely in control.

The day I came to realise that there is no precedent for this, I started to relax a lot more about it. Whether you are first or second generation British or just have traditional parents, guess what? No one has a clue how to do this. As Muslims, we don’t tend to come from a dating culture so, if you are quite liberal and want to explore western conventions whilst still respecting your roots, there isn’t really a right and wrong here. The most important thing to hold on to is knowing who you are, what you believe in and what you want.

Well, thanks for tuning in folks, you may now unbuckle your seatbelts and go about your day. Next time we shall be tackling Conundrum the Second- So, I’m Ok with dating, now what? a brief overview of my attempt to create an amalgam of your dating life and cultural / religious life and the things I found helpful along the way.