Does this conversation sound familiar?
Wife: “Honey, I need money.”
Husband: “What for?”
Wife: “What do you mean, ‘What for?’ To pay bills!”
Husband: “I’ve never seen anyone spend more money than you.”
Wife: “Stop being so cheap.”
Husband: “All I do is work to make money and all you do is spend!”
Wife: “What about raising your children? Who does that?!”
Husband: “I’m just saying, could you try to spend less and save more?”
Wife: “You’re clueless. You have no idea how much things cost.”
It’s a well known fact that the number one reason couples fight is money. But, according to Elaine Koby Moss, discussing finances with your spouse doesn’t have to feel like you’re in a boxing ring with gloves on.
Moss, who is a vice-president at the Chicago investment advisory firm, Vestor Capital,has spent the last 25 years in the financial industry and has worked with hundreds of couples to alleviate fear, stress and conflict when it comes to financial planning and saving.
I asked Moss why money is such a big issue of contention in some relationships and she gave three reasons:
1). Couples are coming together at an older age. Both parties are coming to the table with assets of their own, which is a change from generations past when couples formed at younger ages and built their wealth together. This causes both men and women to be more guarded and less willing to co-mingle funds in some cases.
2). One person might be earning significantly more or all of the family’s income. The imbalance can cause conflict because of resentment.
3). There might be differences in spending and/or saving habits. People come to a relationship with very different backgroundsand philosophies in regards to saving and spending. One person might be more of an investment risk taker, the other might prefer conservative investments. Sometimes it’s hard to understand the other’s rationale behind their investment choices.
Wife: “Honey, I need money.”
Husband: “What for?”
Wife: “What do you mean, ‘What for?’ To pay bills!”
Husband: “I’ve never seen anyone spend more money than you.”
Wife: “Stop being so cheap.”
Husband: “All I do is work to make money and all you do is spend!”
Wife: “What about raising your children? Who does that?!”
Husband: “I’m just saying, could you try to spend less and save more?”
Wife: “You’re clueless. You have no idea how much things cost.”
It’s a well known fact that the number one reason couples fight is money. But, according to Elaine Koby Moss, discussing finances with your spouse doesn’t have to feel like you’re in a boxing ring with gloves on.
Moss, who is a vice-president at the Chicago investment advisory firm, Vestor Capital,has spent the last 25 years in the financial industry and has worked with hundreds of couples to alleviate fear, stress and conflict when it comes to financial planning and saving.
I asked Moss why money is such a big issue of contention in some relationships and she gave three reasons:
1). Couples are coming together at an older age. Both parties are coming to the table with assets of their own, which is a change from generations past when couples formed at younger ages and built their wealth together. This causes both men and women to be more guarded and less willing to co-mingle funds in some cases.
2). One person might be earning significantly more or all of the family’s income. The imbalance can cause conflict because of resentment.
3). There might be differences in spending and/or saving habits. People come to a relationship with very different backgroundsand philosophies in regards to saving and spending. One person might be more of an investment risk taker, the other might prefer conservative investments. Sometimes it’s hard to understand the other’s rationale behind their investment choices.
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